Crash Olympics
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Hahn, Webb, Albertson and Peick's crashes are ranked.

The Olympics are here people! And we're caught up in the fever of watching some of the greatest athletes perform some of the greatest feats known to man. Some of our sport's greatest riders have made some big mistakes in this supercross and unluckily for them but lucky for us, their "feats" have been caught on camera. Wil Hahn, Cooper Webb, Jimmy Albertson and Weston Peick have shown us that not everything in supercross is graceful and incredible- sometimes things just suck.

So Matthes, Jason Thomas and Swizcore got together to rank the crashes of these four guys on different levels and before you go all weird on us, all of these riders agreed to let us do this. In fact, Hahn and Webb even sent us their footage. So call off the dogs bro, all four riders were fine and raced after their crashes (although Albertson ended up being done for the night soon after).

So without further aideu, we welcome you to the Pulpmx Crash-a-Lympics!

Competitor #1 "Top" Jimmy Albertson

Matthes

Form: Jimmy’s crash in San Diego makes me laugh again and again. And I feel really bad in doing that. Not sure what happened (probably missed his rear brake) but it’s definitely not great form and hitting the wall simply sucks. Form is low, I’m going with a 5.5 on this one. But seriously, try to not laugh at it- it’s impossible.

Gnarliness: On track walk we were looking at this quad and it was big so props to Jimmy for attempting the quad and his crash was gnarly but it wasn’t a big speed one and if there was no wall he would have probably been fine. It wasn’t a massive get-off by any means. A 7 for gnarliness

Impersonation: I think the first thing that comes to mind would be Steve-O saying “Hey, let me ride my motorcycle into a wall” so I suppose a Jackass guy was what Top Jimmy was going for and I’d give him a 9 on that.

Impact: Jimmy sustained a cut on his knee that required stiches and a sprained wrist which kept him out of the race at San Diego, prevented him from practicing at all and he now falls further and further behind the pack while he tries to let this injury heal. So pretty big impact and that’s why he gets a 9.5

Total score- 31

 

JT

Form: Form here is completely fubar. He has unintentional leg swag on the takeoff and hits the wall at an awkward angle. For some reason I picture him screaming inside his helmet also. 4.0

Gnarliness: Jumping into a concrete wall is pretty gnarly, lesbihonest here. Considering how fast he was going when he landed from the quad, it could have been really ugly. The poo stain in his shorts had to be gnarly as well. 8.5.

Impersonation: It was a mix of Matt Goerke at Indianapolis in 2005 and what a spike chest protected Brian Deegan said he wanted to do with his motorcycle all those years ago. Execution was a bit off though as he didn’t make it into the stands. 7.0.

Impact: Again, have to give him a lower score here as he only glanced off the wall instead of a direct impact. He did slide down the wall a la Wile E. Coyote, though, so that brings his score back up to an 8.0.

Total score- 27.5

 

Swizzle

Form: Jimmy's form looks super comfortable. I mean he returns to the most native form there is at the base of that wall; the fetal position. Solid. 9.0

Gnarliness: Going all Matt Goerke off that berm and very nearly planting his ass in the seats is pretty gnar BRO. 7

Impersonation: I've got three words for you, yup you guessed it: "Brandon's First Race". If you don't know, YouTube it. You're welcome. 7

Impact: His landing position was about as forgiving as an out of control spastic racer could be after "over-quading". 4

Total score- 27

Average score- 28.5

Competitor #2 "The Nhilist" Weston Peick

Matthes

Form: Perfect! Weston manages to complete a front flip at Phoenix in the 450SX main event that would make any Olympian proud and he continues to display great form once he landed it. A few points taken off for one of his arms flaying around after the landing but all in all, great job Weston! 9.5

Gnarliness: Uh yeah, this was nuts. Just a full speed nose dive on a triple and he got slammed to the ground like a rag doll. This one was bad folks. 9.0

Impersonation: I think he was going for a crash test dummy but I can’t be sure. 9.0

Impact: Weston couldn’t ride all week, he coughed up some blood at some point but oh yeah, he raced that next week and did well. So high impact or low impact because he was able to race and shake off this horrendous crash? I’ll go with a 6.5

Total score- 34

 

JT

Form: Form here is pretty solid. He didn’t really let on that he was going to crash until he was already doomed. 9.0

Gnarliness: This jump wasn’t overly tough but he made it look like the Snake River Gorge. 7.5.

Impersonation: This crash reminded me of the 2008 Detroit crash for Chad Reed. He wheel tapped with the front wheel and then the schrapnel flew in all directions. 8.0.

Impact: He hit really hard but it could have been so much worse. Luckily he didn’t directly strike any of the jumps and rolled out of it fairly well. His bike had to be completely worked, though. 9.0.

Total score- 33.5

 

Swizzle

Form: When a guy is commonly referred to as a linebacker and he manages to touch his chin to his belly-button... Just wow. 9.5

Gnarliness: I give the jump face the gnarly points here. I mean yeah, it's a jump-face but I don't care if it's a Redwood tree in the National Forrest, if Weston Peick is barreling at you, you f@$king move! 8.5

Impersonation: JT took the words righ out of my finger tips. Jerk. 7

Impact: I can think of maybe one thing hitting that jump face as hard as Weston did, the asteroid hitting Earth in Superman. 9.5

Total score- 34.5

Average score- 34

Competitor #3 Cooper Webb

Matthes

Form: Very good swan dive here in Oakland practice. Some points were deducted for the small leg kick as he was about to land. Webb couldn’t hold his perfect form the entire time. But then again, we don’t blame him, he was fast approaching some concrete. I do like how the Yamaha YZ250F cartwheeled and then ended up back on two wheels. Good job on that. Still, rules are rules. 7.0

Gnarliness: What Cooper was trying to do was go five in and still make the left hand turn. That’s pretty gnarly in itself and the crash wasn't enough to make Cooper miss any racing (I’m not sure how) so while it looks terrifying (the girl shrieking like Michael Myers was stabbing her does boost this mark though) it didn’t end up that gnarly. 7.0

Impersonation: Greg Louganis? Ricky Henderson stealing home? 6.0

Impact: Man, you would think hitting the pavement like that would have a LOT of impact on Webb but he seemed fine after this. He got up and walked to the medic mule right after this and that was convenient seeing as how he was pretty much right there. And I imagine his bike was toasted as well. 8

Total score- 28

 

JT

Form: Tens across the board! This was a flawless performance by both man and machine. That new 250F refuses to stay off its wheels, on track or off. 10.0.

Gnarliness: This wasn’t a crazy balls jump but went about as badly as possible. The landing was only about 18” high so I can’t give him too much here. 5.0.

Impersonation: This crash reminded me of something Greg Albertyn would do. Case a small jump and just explode into an unexplainable, disastrous crash. Also, Albee often ended up sliding across the concrete. 9.5.

Impact: He was very lucky to slide across the concrete and not really hit anything too hard. Impact was minimal for such a dirty getoff. 3.5.

Total score-28

 

Swizzle

Form: This is an act of utter beauty. Cooper saw Kevin Windham's nose-wheelie and raised him a high speed ejection. 7

Gnarliness: The length of time Cooper rode this out is spectacular. Just imagining the thoughts and considerations goign through his head as to what could happen when he finally comes to a step. Utter terror. 9.5

Impersonation: On first view, I thought this was me in 1995. I'm an innovator, where's my award dammit. 8

Impact: We never actually see Cooper's body at the point of impact but the way he jumped up screamed adrenaline rush. Coop-dog was shaken but not stirred. 6

Total score-30.5

Average score- 28.8

Competitor #4 Wil Hahn

Matthes

Form: Great form, right over the bars and into the face of the next whoop. Terrific landing, bonus points for the slo-mo look we got of it. All in all, a rider’s worst nightmare captured right there for all of us to see. This is like seeing BigFoot in his natural habitat. 9.5

Gnarliness: He was groggy as all hell when he got up, his handlebar was broken and his hand was jacked up. Big time gnarliness here and just blitzing supercross whoops like that is an extra point or two. 9.0

Impersonation: James Stewart? Justin Brayton? A swan diver? 8.0

Impact: Big time impact for Hahn here. And although probably not the impact he wanted to make  in the class I would say that because he had to pull out of the next race with his hand injury as well as not be able to ride during the week, the impact was high all-around. 9.0

Total score- 35.5

 

JT

Form: His ability to wheel tap 3 times with the front wheel is off the charts awesome. 10.0

Gnarliness: Going over the bars in the whoops, or “missing a whoop”, is one of the worst fears in supercross and he was going faster than most riders ever attempt to. Every time you see a rider ride up to a set of whoops and grab a handful of brakes, it is because he is scared to do what Wil does here. It’s one of the biggest hurdles to overcome to become successful in SX. 9.5.

Impersonation: This was like Kevin Windham’s opening ceromonies nose wheelie only Wil tried it in the nastiest set of whoops we have seen this year. Those Geico guys will do anything for a cheer. 9.0.

Impact: Wil went face first into one of those whoops and was more than a little dizzy when he stood up. I actually thought one of the Asterisk guys was going to start counting to 10 before sending him back into the ring. Nasty, nasty hit. 10.0.

Total score- 38.5

 

Swizzle

Form: Wil pretty much went down the checklist for this one... the checklist of exactly what will result in the utter worst case scenario when dropping the front wheel in SX whoops. Mother-eff that looks dirty. 10

Gnarliness: HE BROKE HIS EFFING HANDLEBAR. 10

Impersonation: Honestly the first thing that came to mind was Ricky Carmichael and a boat. I know it didn't look anything like this but what can ya do? 8

Impact: I hit the ground this hard once. Knocked out twice from one hit. I came-to, stood up, walked 3 steps and woke up about 5 minutes later. Doing it in Supercross whoops on a 450 makes it infinitely more forceful. 10 with a bullet!

Total score- 38

Average score- 37.3  WINNER!!!!

Congrats to Wil Hahn on an honor I'm sure he's super stoked about!


JT$

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Comments

Poor Albee

For some reason I leaned back and let out a bellow when I read this

"This crash reminded me of something Greg Albertyn would do. Case a small jump and just explode into an unexplainable, disastrous crash."

#CrashnburnPulpmxstyle