Shortcomings: The Andrew Short Conversation

Our man Moser sits down with his hero Andrew Short after Washougal to get to the bottom of things.

29 Questions with Andrew Short

By Moser

This week instead of a Just Short or Shortcomings article I had the opportunity and pleasure to sit down with the man, the myth, the legend himself Andrew Short at Washougal and do my first “interview” as a “freelance reporter”. I’m not going to lie I get a little nervous around Short and the team, they couldn’t be nicer but it’s hard not to get star struck and I don’t want to come across any more awkward than I’m already rightfully perceived. Hanging out with our wangs out in the truck, listening to the idle chit chat and watching the race dynamic from behind the scenes is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity and I don’t take it for granted.

Due to the situation of being a really big fan of moto and Shorty while hanging out in this environment I’ve found myself at a loss for words more than once, so a couple weeks prior to Washougal I started writing down random questions so I wouldn’t forget them when the time came to bro down with these guys. Shorty just shook his head and laughed when I showed him my notebook and told him I had a bunch of questions for him, but with a little persistence and ideal timing we sat down on the back of the semi at the end of the day and he let me “interview” him, more or less. It was a lot of fun, and a big thanks to Shorty, LB, Davin, Nate, Hoyer, Stone, Ricky and Max for letting me hang out under the L&MC tent all day. Do I have a lot of random questions? Of course I do but I tried to throw in some more politically correct ones as well. Look for Moservations Washougal next week with some highlights from my weekend, this interview was definitely one of them.

Moser: Testies one two testies, I think it’s working I don’t know?

Shorty: Ok, I’m going to do this (grabs notebook and recorder out of my hands) I maybe can’t, yup it’s working, which wash cycle for gear is normal?

Moser: These are like my notes so you’re not going to be able to interprete what I’m trying to ask, I’ll read them (I try to grab back notebook)

Shorty: No that questions dumb

Moser: Well what wash cycle do you wash your gear in

Shorty: I hang dry everything!!!

Moser: But which WASH cycle?

Shorty: Normal dude you know that button that says normal I do normal, not express or whatever

Moser: Alright that’s what I wanted to know normal wash cycle for your gear

Moser: Craziest thing Roczen has done at the house?

Shorty: I can’t tell you that

Moser: (Laughs) ok skip that one

Shorty: He runs around in his underwear a lot

Moser: Well that’s cool, at least he wears underwear

Shorty: Bjorn Borgs

Moser: Who can change a tire quicker, you or Jacki?

Shorty: Yeah dude I could beat Nate right here (points to his mechanic @nasty_nine)

Nate: (Laughs) Maybe

Shorty: That’s one thing I’m good at

Nate: No I don’t know

Shorty: Yeah I swear to you

Moser: You think you can beat me?

Shorty: I could, I’m not ISDE quality but if I practiced I think I could with a moose, I’ve never done a moose.

Moser: It takes me like 18 minutes, do you run mooses?

Shorty: No I don’t practice with them I race with them.

Moser: Favorite adult beverage?

Shorty: Estancia red wine

Moser: Last time you washed an air filter?

Shorty: Last year at KTM I did it a lot but now Obama does it and he doesn’t do it right but he would beg to argue different.

Brian “Horsepower” Hoyer walks up who’s the L&MC engine guru

Hoyer: Hows he do it?

Shorty: I use gasoline

Hoyer: Yeah (in approving tone)

Shorty: Dude I use gas and then straight to….

(Immediately interrupted again arguing ensues amongst us)

Hoyer: You’re so on it sometimes, spray paint on the gribs, gasoline for air filters

Moser: You cannot use gas it breaks down the filter

(Lots of arguing ensues)

Hoyer: It’s quick dude

Short: You have to go from gasoline straight to soapy water like right away or else it tears the glue

Moser: You can’t use gas everyone knows this

Short: Naw not if you do it right, you gotta have the skills

Nate: I agree totally

Moser: Alright

Moser: What is your favorite cheat meal?

Short: Chipolte, is that a cheat?

Moser: Ummm sure that a cheat. Why is Washougal your favorite track?

Short: Because you’re here Moser, yeah I don’t know it’s just good to me

Random photo of Short by James Lissimore to break up the interview.

Moser: Do you wash/scrub your feet or just let water run over them in the shower?

Moser: I heard that question on a radio show

Short: I wash them I scrub them especially when I ride all the time

Moser: Me too

Moser: Who’s the most intimidating, LB, MP, or the Man? (Larry Brooks, Mitch Payton or Roger Decoster)

Short: Oh Larry scares me the most, I don’t know Mitch that well

Moser: If Mrs. Jacki Short raced WMA today how would she do?

Short: Oh I don’t know

Moser: Be careful, be careful don’t get yourself into trouble

Short: If it was hot I don’t think she would do that good, and if she trained maybe, actually her speeds not bad, I saw her ride the other day, her jumping skills have gone downhill, which isn’t saying much to begin with but

Moser: Is that like top 5 or?

Short: She’s really good in the turns

Moser: Top 5? Top 10?

Short: No 10, I would say 10th

Moser: Favorite motorcycle movie?

Short: I don’t care about motocross movies

Moser: What? How is that? Terrafirma II my favorite motorcyle movie ever

Nate: (Lauging again)

Short: No

Moser: Seriously?

Short: No

Moser: You don’t have a single favorite

Short: My parents wouldn’t buy them for me, I would rather watch a race than a movie

Moser: What’s your favorite race?

Short: I record them all and watch them all

Moser: What’s your favorite one, growing up I can think of like four favorite races.

Short: Really? I like……I don’t know Atlanta supercross is always good on TV

Moser: Fair enough

Moser: How do you take your… (we can’t read my handwritting)…I think it’s coffee maybe?

Short: I take my coffee black

Moser: Worst kid show or movie?

Short: NickJR because it’s always on the kids love it

Moser: When you shave your legs when do you stop?

Short: Like my cycling line dude, see right there

Moser: So do you use a razor or?

Short: Yeah I bic it

Moser: Oh geez bic like a razor blade?

Short: Yeah bic it

Moser: I don’t know where to stop though

Short: Right here where your daisy dukes are, you gotta trim that

Moser: Alright

Nate: Nair for men

Short: Look how hairy you are

Moser: Hey clearbrow nobody can see this (point at my hairy legs)

Short: Your wife sees that, why don’t you groom that stuff for her

Moser: That’s why I’m asking I’m trying to improve myself

Nate: (LOLing at this point)

Moser: Best travel tip, you travel a lot what’s your best tip?

Short: Get a frequent flyer number I don’t know

Moser: Alright

Moser: Any rental car stories?

Short: Nope (he answered this question way too fast he didn’t fool me he has a story)

Moser: Do you have a favorite bike?

Short: Yeah the Honda

Moser: Come on

Short: I really do I swear to you I like it

Moser: Which year

Short: Ummm

Moser: I can think back……

Short: My 20……

Moser: And you can’t say this year

Short: Alright the 2005 CRF250 was pretty sick when they threw a bunch of money into it, it was super fast.

Moser: Why is DMXS better than Pulpmx?

Short: Honestly I like the DMXS guys but I never listen to it I listen to Matthes stuff

Moser: Where is the weirdest place you’ve signed like someone asked for a signature? And I’m going to see if I can top it…

Shorty: I’m not too crazy but I’ll tell them no

Moser: You’ll tell them no? Do they ask for weird stuff?

Shorty: No not really

Moser: What’s your opinion on the dual exhaust that will be on the new 2013 bike?

Shorty: I know Honda likes it but I don’t know about it, I’ll want to ride the bike first before I…..

Moser: The 250F had dual pipes so do you notice a difference or not really, it’s a handling thing right?

Shorty: Yeah for me not a big difference

Moser: Has your coach Mr. Seiji done any weird voodoo treatments or things?

Shorty: He’s japanese

Moser: But what’s the weirdest thing he’s had you do that’s what I mean by voodoo, he’s kind of hippy?

Shorty: Yeah he’s just hippy

Moser: I don’t know has he rubbed some herbal something

Shorty: Naw he’s not like that he’s pretty by the book, nothing to crazy

Moser: What SPF sunscreen do you use?

Short: I use nothing that stuff is cancer, you can’t put that stuff on you

Moser: You don’t use any sunscreen?

Short: Dude you know what I do I wear long sleeves and a big ol’ japanese rice farmer hat and cover up, cause I don’t want cancer on my skin

Moser: What is the process of making jorts?

Short: Ok when you have old jeans and the wife says you need to throw them out that’s when you make them jorts, and then you just wear them everyday.

Moser: So where do you cut them?

Short: Well all different and they get shorter as it goes you know, and seeing how I wear these every weekend, these are normally my Sunday travel home ones (points down to his jorts) and my Saturday ones or my Friday ones I alternate them.

Moser: You just cut these with scissors?

Short: Yeah

Nate: How do you line them up though?

Moser: Seriously because I got these ones cut way to like inverted

Short: You just fold them and like cut umm

Moser: Do you just let them fray naturally or do you make the fray?

Short: Yeah and then I cut off the long ones

Moser: You’re Martha Stewart

Short: Huh?

Moser: You are the Martha Stewart of hosting motocross riders

Short: What?

Moser: That’s more of a statement than a question, think about it how many people do you have at your house all the time